Accommodating is not Compromising

You know, I've come to accept that everybody's got something. As the saying goes, nobody's perfect. I'll even admit, that I've got my quirks, as well. But when and how often do I have to give up what I want or need because someone else has "issues"?

Let's return to "compromise" as a way to handle things. To review, what is a compromise? Well, some could see it as I win a little - you win a little. But I choose to face the reality - we both lose, neither one of us gets exactly what we want. I can live with a compromise a good deal of the time, but not all the time. Because it means I never get what I want.

In many cases, this "compromise" is actually a misnomer. Someone believes they're asking me to compromise with them when, in fact, they're really asking me to just accommodate them. I'm really somewhat easy going most of the time...eh, whatever. But make my life difficult or put me in a bad situation because of your issue, and I'm done. Not only am I done accommodating, I'm done compromising.

I've recently found that although people believe they're accommodating me by going along with the activity I chose or including other people they wouldn't prefer, they're actually punishing me for doing so - torturing me with comments about what's wrong with what we're doing or how they hate the other person or the big "Whatever" (translation: fuck you) attitude. It's a passive-aggressive way to fight the win. If I'm going to lose, I'm sure as hell not going to let you enjoy your win.

I'm really headed to a breaking point where there is no more accommodating irrational issues (what issues ARE rational, really?)...no more worrying about someone getting pissed because I've included my boyfriend in plans. I do not OWE anyone but my child one-on-one time - reality is that if they were also involved with someone, they'd never even ask me for that time. If you're thinking that's not true, it means you're not in a relationship right now...ask yourself again when you're in a relationship.

After that, I'm going to give up trying to hang out with more than one friend at a time. Apparently, I attract friends that don't seem to attract each other. If they can't respect me enough to keep their comments to themselves, I can't respect them enough to listen. Know that when you insult my friend or family, you insult me.

I'm going to stop my rant now...as of today, despite my earlier post that made it like I always have to get my own way, I'm still open to compromise and even accommodation. Just not always - don't take it for granted and don't take advantage. Show me respect, chill out with the issues, accommodate me every now and then without torturing me about it, and then everything else will fall into place. Hey, learn a lesson from the last post...we might eventually find our synergy and then, we both win.