List of Issues

1. Any slightest hint of femininity in a man convinces me that people will think he's gay and I'm stupid for making the same mistake twice.
   
2. I go into panic disorder if my schedule is off...I know it takes X amount of minutes to get ready and if I haven't started at X+2, then I'm panicking. Heaven help me if it's someone else's fault we're running late and I have no control to put us back on schedule.
   
3. Clutter - can't stand clutter and collections that run out of control without orderly display or storage. (You'd understand this one if you ever saw the house I grew up in.)
   
4. I'll never take a shower with a man because gravity only makes my stomach and boobs ten times worse...not to mention the light in the bathroom.
   
5. Although I seem very direct and honest, I'm more likely to say nothing and be frustrated silently than risk a confrontation with someone.
   
6. No matter how much I hate being overweight and how much I swear I'll follow the plan, some days it's a compulsion I can't control.
   
7. I'm actually incredibly embarrassed by my health history. I hate being the poster child for Cancer Survivor because I don't feel like I did anything to make that happen. I'm not proud of it, I feel horribly guilty that I survived while so many others did not.
   
8. I have these "timeline" rules for my life. I'd decided that I needed to meet my husband by 20, so I could be engaged by 22 and married by 24, and have my first child at 26. When I knew it wouldn't last, I couldn't get divorced until I'd been married one year for each $10K spent on my wedding. Then I knew I couldn't have a relationship until at least a year after the divorce and I'd have to date someone at least two years before getting married again. And now that I'm falling for someone, I figure I couldn't possibly be "in love" since it's only been a month and I haven't quite calculated the appropriate period of time where it's real and not just novelty or excitement or concept or want.