Day 4 Chocolate-Free, Day 2 Secret Society

Today is my fourth day that I am not eating chocolate...not that there's anything wrong with it. But, I'm free and don't need to be eating chocolate to make it through the day. Notice how I snuck a bit of The Secret in there.

After bashing the CDs, I'm doing it. I'm reprogramming my subconscious to follow along with my conscious decision to affirm that I'm a smart, beautiful, talented, rich woman with great entrepreneurial spirit, amassing my fortunes while the pounds melt away, since I have such a strong metabolism and am a dedicated health-conscious gymrat who loves drinking lots of water and eating high fiber, low fat, sugar free nutrious meals.

Holy Cannoli - My Early Review of The Secret

I'm on the second CD of the 4-CD set of The Secret on Audio. I have no idea how this can last for four whole CDs, when they're just saying the same thing over and over. This woman has proved her theory, though. She convinced herself she could make millions and generate a worldwide following with this "secret" of using the laws of attraction to get what she wanted...and she did. Listen, watch, read...and pay attention. All she does is repeat the same idea over and over; and isn't even creative about the way she phrases herself.

Here's the big secret folks...you think about it, believe it is right now (not that it will be later, but it is today) and it comes true. Want to be rich, tell yourself you're rich. Want to have a perfect body? Picture you in a perfect body, tell yourself you have a perfect body and you will attract a perfect body. Want to meet your mate? Believe the right mate is out there and he is on his way to you, and he'll appear.

I won't go on, I'll keep listening...I believe this works. I am brilliant, rich, gorgeous, satisfied, in love, happy, thin and having a great time.

And that's the way we became the Brady Bunch (-3 boys and 1 girl)

I don't have much time, but I've got to get it down. I'm marrying the most romantic man on this planet!

First he surprises me at work to take me to lunch - too bad I was already hanging out at the mall since my car was being serviced. He caught up with me though, and we had a lovely food courtship. Back at the office, I saw the roses and balloon he brought me with the gift bag that included a few chocolates and an adorable special edition Grease CD with a cute leather jacket around it.

I have to tell you that all day long I hoped and prayed that I would get the ring but was pretty much convinced it wasn't happening. I even talked about it with my boss's secretary that I would be completely surprised if it did happen.

So I kept trying to guess where we were going for dinner, but I would never have guessed Cafe Bella Sera, since I'd never heard of it. But it was romantic, the food was delicious and we owe tremendous thanks to Pete and his staff for pulling this off without a hitch.

He had a big bag this time, when met at his house, but I wasn't allowed to look in it until after dinner. Finally, I read the beautiful 2nd card of the day that talked about how we were "meant to be." It was a heavy bag, so I knew it wasn't the ring. Inside was a digital photo frame...funny part is I'd been shopping online to get him one for about a week before I gave up and went with a traditional engraved photo album. So this photo frame he gave me is awesome, but my heart sank a little.

We waited what seemed like forever for the waiter to bring the dessert tray before he gave up on holding it in and told me if the waiter shows up while he's in the restroom, just to order the tiramisu.

I should mention that he had said "no phones tonight" earlier. Well he heads to the bathroom and I start to text my cousins with "digital photo frame...no jewels" and before I could hit send, he's running back to me yelling "I said no phones." I quickly shut the phone as the waiter is behind him with dessert.

The waiter places the dessert on the table and I was so excited to see it and exclaimed "you pre-ordered dessert?!" It took me about 20 seconds before I saw the most incredibly perfect engagement ring sitting around a cinnamon stick on the top of the cake. OH MY G-D!!!! I screamed it over and over as the other patrons stared.

He took out a poem he'd written, then got down on one knee to read it, about how he'd known from the start, how in love he is with me, how he wants to make a family with he and I, the girls and even Scrappy Doo! It ended with "will you marry me?" and I screamed yes and the room applauded, and the waiters were taking photos with his camera (that he'd left earlier with the ring). Then the hostess had to remind him to put the ring on my finger.

My cheeks were hurting by the time we came home, but there was more. While I text messaged away downstairs, he'd prepared the bedroom with rose petals on the bed, candlelight, more flowers, a big gigantic balloon, and set up my digital photo frame that was stocked with my and his pictures from the past year, and it played songs - Crazy for you (which I sang on his karaoke at home), Open Arms, Danny's Song (which I'd sang at Crabby's for him) and Regina Spektor's Fidelity which I haven't been able to stop singing lately.

I'm soooooooo happy, and can't wait to show the world and can't wait to start our life together. Sigh, I'm such a girl.

They're here, they're here!!!

The woman on the phone told me that my books would be released March 1 and I should receive them within a week from there. Well, they showed up yesterday, just a few days after I placed the order!

I got one free Chicken Soup for writing it (with lovely stick-on label of autographs for the main contributers - Jack Canfield and the gang). Then, with my discount, I ordered 10 more to give out. Yep, pretty much just spent what I earned for my story in there. With my discount, and after shipping, basically I pay the same thing you would on Amazon. I think I saved a dollar.

And like the superstar I think I am, I autographed the copy I gave my daughter. She told me she was choked up when she read the inscription - later I learned she wasn't able to read my handwriting for all the words. Pretty funny.

Scroll down to the post below this to see my little ad for Chicken Soup for the Soul - Celebrating Mothers and Daughters (and to click through straight to the page on Amazon that sells the book).

For Rachel,

My greatest inspiration, my love and my life.

All my love,
Mommy

Reminder...Chicken Soup

You can now pre-order the Chicken Soup for the Soul Celebrating Mothers & Daughters that my story is in. Or shop for anything else while you're there...if you spend $25, there are no shipping fees.

Free Food Tastes Better

I really meant to eat the food I had brought with me to work today, but when I got an invite from a vendor to kill some time before our meeting, I jumped. I really like Johnny Carino's honey pecan salmon salad and I just don't let myself go for the good stuff when I do go out to lunch. But I figured he's paying, it's an expense he can bill the company, and I haven't had much interaction with web folk lately. It was fun - good work conversation, good food, good change of pace.

A+

Where did my real daughter go?

I don't know what happened but all of a sudden, she loves him. She can't wait to move in with him and can't wait for me to get engaged, and actually said she missed him and wanted to see him after he was gone for work for 5 days.

He and I are in shock, but we're riding this wave and making plans. Buying a house won't fly...just as we were reconsidering after backing out (damn budgets will screw you every time), he gets hit with "my friends have lawyers that say you should be paying me twice the child support that you do." Not a good time to shop. Not that she's even the slightest bit realistic, but there's either going to be an increase in child support or legal fees...either way, there's no house for us. Pisses me off.

Will they ever invent the "me" cereal?

I seem to be incapable of eating cereal as it was created. I want no sugar so I go to the shredded wheat. But then it tastes boring so I have to add Splenda. And even then, it gets soggy before I can finish and I miss my crunch. Add in the crunchy psuedo-healthy cereal (Special-K, Raisin Bran Crunch, anything granola-y). Hmm, needs raisins or bananas thrown in - for the record, those are the only fruits I can bear in cereal...get your fake dried out astronaut strawberries out of my bowl. So now that I'm mixing in the sweetness, I no longer need my Splenda. And there you have it..."me" blend cereal.

Can I patent "create your own cereal" bins at the supermarket? Hey, I think I'm on to something.

I call dibs on the lawn penguins, too! [for the record, Googled it...taken, damnit!)

I'm so gay

Okay, not the homosexual kind of gay, but the gay we used to call kids at school who were really nerdy and tacky. Is that bad or offensive to the real gay community. Uh oh, I don't do contraversy well. We'll find out if anyone actually reads my blog after this one. I ain't skeered! I'm even going to let people post comments. Eh, I can see the cobwebs and hear crickets from the cyber-ghost town now.

Back to me, here's why I'm gay. Because I love my boyfriend! I do, I do! I tell him how much I miss him and how I want to spoon with him and put my head in his chest and hold hands; and I'm happy just to be with him - even when we're not having sex! Can you believe it? Me!

Not that anyone but he and our kids see it. Sure, the friends and family get a sneak peak of the "baby, I love you" talk, but they'll have to be hiding behind the corners or travel through the vortex into my brain to get the girly-giggly "he's so cute and I dream of wearing his pin" stuff. And it'll be a cold day in hell before anyone sees me scribbling Mrs. Helene on my notebook.

Here's what makes me REALLY gay about it, though. I like to cybershop for engagement rings, wedding dresses, reception halls and houses. Even better, I'm studying on a non-profit website about how to make a healthy step-family. But don't tell anyone. I'm not ready to come out of the closet.

My pithy quote on making generalizations

Just because I can't walk in heels, doesn't mean I'm not meant to wear shoes.

What I did on my winter vacation, by me

I spent Christmas week in Manhattan with my daughter, my ex-sister-in-law and my nephew. I definitely spent too much money, tried to see too many sights, and decided my child is too dang demanding.

First off, I'd like to make a stand. It was cold. It was warm for this time of year, you say? Guess what. 50 degrees is still cold when you come from Florida and hate when it goes below 70. Yes, I know, it's warm for NY. However, I stood in the longest line known to mankind just so I could get a 25% discount on an off-Broadway show that turned out to be just a little too mature for my 11 year old.

I did get front row tickets, though. It was nice to have the stage there to protect my legs from getting too far in front of me. Cute show. Now, what do people normally do with their jackets while they're watching a play? Mine was in my way. Good thing people don't throw greasy popcorn on the floor of the theater at plays - that's where my jacket went. It helped keep my feet from having to touch the floor while the stage kept my knees from having too much space. I was impressed with how well groomed the actors nostrils are, too...that was my angle. And by the way, the lady sings out of her mouth sideways.