Things had taken a turn for the worse with my sweetie until he discovered that I'd removed all traces of him from my MySpace page and wanted to know if we'd broken up. We had a really serious talk where I had my "out" right in front of my face - but I just didn't want it. And he finally was face to face with how unhappy I truly had been. It's like he'd stuck his head in the sand to it. I needed him to push to get some time for us to be alone, and I also needed him to face the hard stuff...whenever I talked about my health issues, it was as if he didn't hear. I let him know that although I'm strong, I need to know that I don't have to be, that I need his encouragement when I have doctor's appointments - I may seem matter of fact, but I have panic attacks every visit, test and phone call.
And...he needed to be a little dirty. He really has been trying and the funniest freaking story ever is that he sent me a text message a few days after that conversation that said "I want to lick your clit." Of course, I laugh at this since it's out of character. So I go to show a friend at dinner (with the kids) and then the phone rings - it's the ex calling to talk to my daughter. I give her the phone and when she ends the call, she sees the dirty message! Here I go trying to explain what a clit is and why he'd want to lick it and how it's all just a funny joke b/c I like to tease him what a goody goody he is. Ugh! I had to make her swear on my life not to tell anyone.
Anyway, we went on a Royal Caribbean cruise for the weekend and got back yesterday. We had such a great time - AND great sex. :-) He's definitely getting dirtier and in return I'm getting more romantic, so we're finally in sync with each other's needs. He may be a geek for it, but I'm so glad to have found someone that appreciates the dorky activities like sing-alongs, trivia contests, tacky revue shows, etc. The only thing down side was that I like to gamble and he doesn't so I was pretty self conscious about enjoying it when we did go to the casino for about an hour. Also, he likes to sleep in so I'd just disappear with a book in the mornings until I could convince him to wake up before the breakfast buffet closed. In hindsight, I should've gone to the pool, knowing now that he wouldn't want to go at all.
So before I've gone on longer than you can read in a lifetime, we are finally talking more seriously about what comes next. We're thinking about moving in together after the school year is out, but he knows that I won't do it without a ring and he's happy about that - he actually wants to get engaged. Now, that's okay...but I won't set a date until we've lived together long enough that I'm confident it works. And I don't want to keep talking about it with him, because then it won't be a surprise. I'm a hopeless romantic dork no matter what he believes.
