Naked

I did it. I took the wig off. I've done it before, on the weekend and in Mexico, but today's a first. I went to the office sans fake hair protecting my face. And I can't even wear eye make-up, thanks to the Lasik I had on Thursday, to distract people from the fact that I have this short little pixie.

Tomorrow I remove the port from my chest, and the only remnants of the cancer are the new scars - physical and emotional. Onward and upward. My hair will grow, time will heal some of the wounds and the count will begin again. I've been cancer-free (or NED - no evidence of disease) for 10 months...G-d willing, I'll be counting until I die of old age.

But for now, I have major stomach issues, from nerves. Today is the first day my co-workers see me without the wig. The buzz has already begun. I've had about 5 visitors come "check me out." I have to remember that this is my issue, and no one else's. It's all in my head. No one really cares what my hair looks like, nor will judge me.

I've avoided being the poster child for cancer, but I almost feel like it's time. It's time for me to make a statement by wearing this hair as my purple heart. I've got nothing to be ashamed of, and I should be proud. This hairdo is one of the battle scars from my war with cancer. I survived and I'm here another day to remind the world. I may not be at my most attractive, but there's more to me than what I look like...and what I look like today proves that. Today, everyone can see me - my real hair and my battle scars.

And I feel so naked.