I am just not the poster child for cancer victims. I am not the strong woman everyone sees. Or I don't want to be. How the fuck am I supposed to cheer someone else up? My mother wants to send some woman to talk to me b/c she's got cancer and hasn't got the will to fight it. And I'm so fucking strong that I'm supposed to be her cheerleader? No, I'm not. I told her to find a professional. I am not happy and I am not strong and I want this over. Over damn it and I want to go back to moving forward before this stupid stumbling block got in my way. I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting it or waiting for it to happen again. I want my bubbly happy go lucky take life as it comes attitude back and I want this day to be over. Today I want to just go home and lay in bed and cry. I want this gone and I want my hair and I want to never deal with this again. And I want someone else to cheer me up and be strong and know how bad this really sucks for me and not expect me to be a role model and not be impressed by my "strength" and just shut up and let me complain.
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